This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the IF Gathering. You can find out more about what the IF Gathering is here: https://ifgathering.com
The IF means, What IF God is real… then we need to start living like it.
I was so incredibly encouraged by these women. They are gathering, equipping and encouraging us as women to live out our purpose in Christ.
Over the last almost nine months I have been going thru an up and down battle and grieving the loss of my daughter. You can read Angelina’s story here: https://livefitwomensfitness.com/our-down-syndrome-journey/ I can see a small glimmer of hope and a light on the horizon on some days. While others I shrink back, pull the covers over my head and just don’t want to face the day.
Isn’t it funny how God he always shows up. He never has failed me and the very first opening segment at the IF Gathering was about a women who lost her two sons in a horrific tornado in Arkansas.
How is she breathing, how is she sharing, how is she facing each day? I kept thinking to myself? Tears just flew of my quivering chin as I sat and listened to her journey through grief and loss.
Then as her session of sharing was near ending she said something that has just stuck with me: “My boys are healthy, safe, they’re with the one person that loves them more then me-Jesus! Selfishly I want them here. But it will be like a moment to them.”
She is right, Angelina is in the arms of the one person that loves her more then our family.
I can grasp this, but am I ok with it yet? Maybe…..it’s taking time and on some days time means healing while on other’s I have such an intense longing to be with my sweet baby.
Towards the end of the conference, Jennie Allen asked: Pick a word for 2015 that describes the step of faith you want to take:
I sat and prayed so intently, worshiping, and learning from these women. I was asking God how do you want me to move forward. I’m not ready to let go, I’m not ready to move on.
I felt him say, “GO, BE, Be Still,Trust me, and RUN Michelle.” Run Your race.
All these years my life verse has been: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
I kept saying I am running, “Right, God.” You have set this out before me this really hard race and I’m doing it, “Right?”
My answer has been right in front of me all along. I came back to this verse and kept reading:
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you don’t grow weary and loose heart. Hebrews 12:2-3
He loves us so much: “He endured the cross for us.”
He wants us to consider it pure joy when we face trails to produce perseverance in us. He lets perseverance finish it’s work so we may be complete and mature lacking nothing. He has plans to prosper us to give us a hope and a future. James 1: 2-4, Jeremiah 29:11
I have been growing weary because I haven’t been running to HIM, I been running this race by merely keep HIM in mind and reading his word.
All this week I feel him saying: “RUN TO ME!” “TRUST ME” “LOOK TO ME first, MICHELLE.”
So.. Thats what I’m going to do each day I am going to Run to his arms. I am going to look to him first and stop trying to handle this burden of grief on my own hands. I am going to trust, be who he has created me to be, and be still as I allow him to work powerfully in my life. I can’t do this on my own and without him I would be bare lying on the floor without hope.
I have really felt God calling me to just run physically and spiritually. I was a runner throughout college and I coached track. I haven’t trained seriously for awhile and for me it’s a time where I connect with God.
My run is when I unplug from reality listen to worship music (somedays christian rap radio:0) and connect with God. I pray, thank him, ask for forgiveness, and listen. I haven’t done this in sometime and I am ready to have that back. Writing has also been a very therapeutic way to help as I process through sorrow and grief.
It’s never easy to get back into a fitness routine but I know that he will give me the strength. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Each week I am going to post my weekly half marathon workouts, encouragement, tips and scripture verses. I hope you can journey right alongside with me.
I am ready to Run this race well and to him. I have a long way to go as I continue to journey through grief but the best I can do is continue to move forward, to run and to share how great God is.
Today I will share my first week of training with you and will be back to update this series weekly on Wednesday or Thursday. I am a seasoned runner and this is an intermediate to advanced training plan. You ask why bootcamp and full body strength on monday? Well I teach a bootcamp/full body strength class on mondays and I have to figure this into my training as I workout with my classes. Your training may look different but please share this journey with us as we can encourage hold accountable and run this race together both in the physical and spiritual. (maybe you are training for a 5k or just starting to workout) Each of our races are unique to our purpose in Christ Jesus.
“Remember it’s always crucial to warm-up your body prior to working out and cool down the body, stretch once you have completed your workout. I am not liable to any injuries/health issues that result from exercises from this site. Consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any workout regimen. If you feel pain or any discomfort while exercising stop immediately.”
Blessings and I’m excited to dedicate this time to God and share this journey with you. Week one starts on Monday, Let’s do this!